Tinder Profiles

1. 71 year old male who just got out of the tink and looking for his next victim….i mean soul mate. Was married but i cut her head off. Don’t worry, the girl with big ass and the sex tape’s dad got me off so technically I’m not a killer. Only thing I’m guilty of is caring too much and having a big heart. That’s why you should swipe right. OJ Simpson
2. 37 year old female. I was a survivor and I didn’t give up I didn’t stop i just worked harder and i dropped my two best friends. I have a husband and he cheated on me so I’m on here now. Let’s get together and enjoy some lemonade together. Beyonce
3. 47 year old male. Don’t have a ton of time to date with working out and trying to save the world from disasters in sky scrapers and San Andreas. Used to roll around with other sweaty men but have since left that industry and am now looking for my queen if ya smell what I’m cookin. The Rock
4. 25 year old female. Was Engaged to a guy that looked like a muppet on heroine but i said thank you next and now I’m back on the market. I enjoy a strong pony tail and licking donuts that i have no interest in buying. Ariana grande
5. 50 year old male. Not the best at foreplay because I have claws coming out of my hands, but if you’re into it, we can still try. Let’s get together, have some drinks, go back to your place and ill show you my greatest showman. Hugh Jackman
6. 34 yer old female. Decided to give Tinder a try after i broke up with my ex-boyfriend. He was a skater boy, but i said see ya later boy. He wasn’t good enough for me. I’m a big fan of nickel back and a nice neck tie. Avril lavigne
7. Male born in 1805. Been single for like…four score and seven years then i met my current wife but were in an open marriage so its cool. You can come over to my house and we can get nasty in the Thomas Jefferson room. Ever had sex with a dude in a top hot? We can arrange it. Don’t swipe right if youre trying to go to a play because I’m not about that life. Abraham Lincoln.
8. 32 year old male who is as hood as they come….no seriously. I’m from Canada but Canada is the new Baltimore. I love winning so if youre winning, I’m repping your colors. While everyone got a deal, i did it without one. Used to roll around in a wheel chair and I did have trouble getting it up but I’m passed that faze in my life i assure you. Also have a kid but we don’t talk about him. Drake
9. 72 year old female. Let me ask you a simple question. Do you believe in love after love? Well If the answer is yes then I’ve got you babe. I’m a big fan plastic surgery and movies that feature abba songs. Cher
10. Female born 1880. Looks dont matter to me because I’m blind. I’m a solid talker, after some training, but a so so listener because I’m deaf. So lets get together and you can tell me your problems and ill just nod. Swipe right if youre into chicks with the best sense of smell you’ve ever seen and a sense of touch that’ll leave you weak. Hellen Keller

TIE BREAKER:How much money did the greatest showman make in its opening weekend?  $8,805,843